Grateful #13 - What are you thankful for today?

I remember my beloved grandmother saying, a very long time ago, that life goes by in the blink of an eye once you’re an adult, and to never wish your young days away. At the time, I was in my early teens and impatient for the idea of what being a grown-up really meant; and I wished with all my might for a decade to hurry up and pass, so I could do all the wonderful things I’d been dreaming of.

My Grandmother, Renee, as a young mother in India

I’ve been remembering my grandmother a lot lately; small, wise, softly spoken woman that she was. And she was right – as she usually was – time does slip away from you when you’re a grown up; weeks turn into busy months, and months tumble into years, and things happen faster than you could ever imagine.

With that in mind, this week I’m grateful for:

Timeless-ness. I’ve had to explain to the kids quite a lot lately about doing things ‘tomorrow’ or ‘next week’ or ‘another time.’ It’s still such a tricky concept for them to grasp, because everything is NOW! or in an hour, and the prospect of waiting, even a day, is often met with wails of disapproval.

But goodness, I like their idea of ‘right now’ - it’s so wonderfully spontaneous, and it sometimes makes me wonderfully spontaneous too.

Old fashioned advice. How wonderful is it to be given a good piece of advice?

(Alright, I freely admit that I’m not always 100% receptive to it; but when it’s relevant, done with kindness and in the spirit of genuine sharing, I do love and welcome it)

My Grandma was very good at advising in the gentlest, most considerate way, and it’s something that I’d like to emulate in my own life. Sometimes, I manage quite well; other times I’m so far off and rambling and should just keep my random pieces of advice to myself, thank-you-very-much. But in spite of my bumbling advisory tactics, I’m so grateful for the small tidbits of advice I’m personally given on a week to week basis, from trusted friends, family, chance-met strangers, my partner and even my children (who know all about everything and anything), because most of the time, it’s done in love and given in kindness, which really is a wonderful thing.

What are you grateful for this week?

Nat

Ps. Want to play too? Link your grateful post to the delightful Maxabella Loves, or write your list in the comments section below x

Parenting 101

Image from We Heart It

Now, I confess - I’m not even close to being an expert! – but the following are random observations from my own very partial, biased and often quite naive perspective on parenting toddlers:

1. Boys like to fix. I’m not sure if this is an innate, male driven thing, or whether it’s just my boy, but Judah’s a great pretend fixer. Give him a screwdriver and a mission, and he’ll stay happily engaged in the fixing of said thing for more than just a couple of minutes. Fixing also includes medical and dental. I had a check-up with a toy drill, a screwdriver, and an oversized plastic nut and bolt just yesterday.
2. Boys are very affectionate. This surprised me. I assumed that the girls would be the ones for cuddles and kisses, but it’s Judah who’s on my lap the most, and who wants the longest bedtime cuddle. I like it; it’s like the slate is wiped clean every night, no matter how much of a wretched a day we’ve had together.
3. Mothers are the hardest working people around. Not only does raising children require a super set of skills, it also requires unlimited patience, love, affection, energy, compassion, and a freaky second sight, which allows you to pre-empt any accidents, dangerous situations, and potentially tantrum-ous conditions. I love my own mother to bits, but I never really understood her until I had children of my own. Now I think she’s a superhero.
4. Nothing beats the glow of a newborn, and the sweetness of family during the newborn phase. But, as lovely as newborns are, and in spite of how beautiful they smell, and how wonderful they are to hug and snuggle up to, I must remind myself that it’s not the greatest excuse to think about having another baby. Think instead: two hourly feeds, vomit, never-ending nappies, and no sleep.
5. When everything is hard and frustrating, as raising children sometimes is, the best way to break the tension and to soothe a stand-off situation is to laugh.
6. Don’t be afraid to use television to your advantage. Now, I’m not saying to sit your kids down in front of it for eight hours a day, but if it allows you to have a cup of tea and ten minutes peace to recharge – do it, and don’t feel guilty.
7. Little girls are very clever, and are born with all the skills necessary to efficiently and effectively wrap everyone around their little finger.
8. Going outside cures most tantrums. If in the midst of a crazy tear-your-hair-out horrid fit of temper, open the doors, put on a hat and defuse the tantrum in an instant by letting them escape into nature. Note: this does not work when in public. Public tantrums seem to be a toddler right of passage.
9. Don’t fight with a fussy eater. Apparently toddlers live on air.
10. When in the midst of a horrid day, remember - this too, shall pass. Hang in there, kiddo.

Do you have any tried and tested parenting advice?

Nat

Dear Me...

Image found at We Heart It

If you were to write a letter to your 16 year old self, what would you say?

This was the first sentence I read in a book that caught my eye in a bookstore a little while ago.  It was a collection of letters by famous people - not to family or friends - but to themselves at the age of 16. 

I thought that it was such an interesting idea; and, after reading a bit, thought the things that they told themselves were absolutely priceless! One said not to bother with diets; another warned of the dangers of the partying lifestyle; another advised themselves not to hate the world, or parents; and yet another (famous entertainer) told their younger self to listen to their mother and keep taking piano lessons.  And it’s been something that I have thought about ever since. 

Here's what I'd say to a 16 year old me:

Dear past Kim,

Life can be really hard but it will get better.
I know you don’t have any idea what you want to do with your life but just follow the things that make you happy.
Treasure all the time you spend with your family – especially your grandmother.
You will make a friend who you can tell all your secrets to, and it will be a friendship to keep all your days.
Don’t let yourself get too busy - take the time to laugh and enjoy all those funny little moments.
Learn to live past your regrets.
Food is not your enemy – just eat all things in moderation (except dairy – dairy might be you enemy)

Your mum is making lots of sacrifices for you – remember to be thankful and not take those things for granted.
Someday soon you and your sister will be really good friends – it’s lovely.
Being a tomboy is alright, but it’s ok to pierce your ears and wear dresses too.
Suspenders will give you a wedgie – I know you think they’re cool but they’re actually uncomfortable.  Don’t go there!
And finally, you’re a good kid – don’t be so hard on yourself!

Love, future Kim

What would you say to your younger self, having the privilege of hindsight and life experience?

Kim